Prop 8, why I’m confused…why a law at all?

I realize this is a California thing…so those of you not here may not know what Prop 8 is. Here’s what it’s about.

To me, Proposition 8 has nothing really to do with ethics, morality, theology, religion, what have you. Regardless of how I feel about same-sex marriage, I don’t believe the government should impose a limitation on a person’s right to marry whoever they want. Basically, I believe the US government should stay out of people’s business when it comes to marriage altogether. So Prop 8 is a legal issue, first off. It is an act to change California Constitution…and in itself it is a legal matter.

Here’s why I’m confused. To vote YES means I think by law, only a man and woman are “recognized” as being married. If I vote NO, I then believe both opposite gender and same-sex gender marriages, by law, are “recognized” as being married. I have a hard time with the word “recognized” and the fact that people need a “marriage” to recognize their union whatsoever. But, if you’re getting married because it’s financially beneficial, then I guess we step into a discrimination sort of spiral because while you’re with someone of the same sex for years and for all practical purposes married, your neighbor may be married to an opposite sex partner and reaping some of the wonderful financial rewards this government offers. Could someone please tell me what those are? I have a slight suspicion that there are negative financial consequences tied in with marriage (or divorce maybe, or rather) that balance out any financial fruits a couple might reap. But then, by that logic, I should be able to take legal action because I feel it is unfair that married couples get any sort of financial benefit from being married and I, being single, do not. Why should the fact that I can’t find an adequate mate stand in the way of these benefits? But I digress.

Now, whether one chooses to accept it or not, marriage seems to be both a legal and religious issue. You might think it’s purely legal, or you might think it’s purely religious. And whether you feel marriage should be religious or legal, or that homosexuality is right/wrong, that is your business and you should at least be able to realize that there are other people that might think differently. To think otherwise is ignorance, intolerance, and closed-mindedness. I think laws should be minimal and have one simple purpose and that is to protect our basic civil liberties….basically, you let me do what I want to do and if it doesn’t hurt you, it shouldn’t bother you. So why a law at all about marriage? Oh, unless you think that because Mr. and Mr. Smith’s kid is going to berserk and go on a homicidal rage because his parents are of the same sex. I don’t know if you need a study to prove that that is highly improbable, but it’s a safe bet that it is.

Now, on the other end of the spectrum, I don’t believe the government should play any role in who a church chooses to marry. If a church should refuse to handle a same-sex marriage, it should NOT be forced to do so because some law tells them so. If you’re homosexual and would like to marry in a a certain church that does not recognize same-sex marriage, you have a right to go to some place that does, but NOT a right to sue them or take legal action against them for refusing.

But I don’t think people who are for Prop 8 are concerned necessarily that a couple is going to take legal action if some church refuses to marry them. I’ve even read that some people think this will cost huge amounts of money because couples will now be able to sue, say, a photographer for refusing to work at a same-sex ceremony. Are you serious? You really think that will fly in court? Discrimination? Hell yes the photographer has a right to refuse to shoot at a same-sex ceremony if he/she feels like. Anyway, I think most of the “yessirs” on Prop 8 simply think same-sex marriage is wrong for ethical or religious reasons. And if that’s the case, why make a law about it? Leave it to the churches. Go to your church, I’ll go to mine (or not), we can all be happy.

So here’s my thing…why do we need a line in our Constitution stating whether or not same-sex marriage is OK? Why do we need a line at all that says anything about any individual getting married? Why should the government be involved at all? Basically, the government should simply stay out, seems pretty simple to me. Why are people concerned at all that there needs to be any “recognition” whatsoever by a state or country? That’s why I’m confused about Prop 8.

~ by K E N on October 30, 2008.